So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
