low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
