So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize