Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Randomize
