What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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