Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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