I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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