Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
