There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
