On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
