proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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