Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
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