maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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