I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
