i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
