i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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