...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
