Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize