I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
It's like God shit irony all over that family
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
