i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize