Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
