Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
My life is pants optional.
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