drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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