No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
