Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize
