Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
