Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
