Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize