when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize