Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
