I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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