Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
