No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
