but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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