Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
