some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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