I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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