Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
