i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
