Those balls look pretty dangerous.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize