I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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