i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
