i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
What drink are we having for lunch?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
