First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
