i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
