They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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