i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I lost the right to judge tonight
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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