if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
