i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
