I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
