You made me cry and you don't even care
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
