I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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