Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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