Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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