We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
