You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
The air was thick with penises
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
