It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
zippers are such a cool invention
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
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