dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize