OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
do herpes really smell.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
