he shaved USA in his pubs
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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