Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
