i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
third nipple confirmed
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
