just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
