Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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