OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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