question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
