yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
