As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
