Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize