Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
